DOCTOR WHO: A RICK IN TIME
by LM-Productions
Summary: Rick and the Doctor... Old, Check. Goofy hair? Check. Smart? Check. Companions? mething is ripping apart the fabric of all realities, and it'll take the universe's greatest minds to save it (with many drinks, belches, sarcastic remarks, and time travel along the way) in this mediocre Crossover with two of the most popular Sci-fi shows: "Doctor Who" and "Rick and Morty"!
1. Inter-RICK-ting Beginnings

"Morty!" Rick belched, bursting into his grandson's bedroom, flipping on the lightswitch. His used to be sleeping grandson responded with a yelp, jumping awake. "W-w-what Rick?" Morty stammered groggily, shielding his eyes from the blaring light. "I got uu _ **UUURP**_ some thing to show you!"Rick said, as a burp erupted from the old man's bowels, and right into Morty's face. His hot breath reeked of alcohol, making his grandson cringe and turn his head to his clock. It read in bright red numbers 2:01 AM. Irritated from being woke up so early, the teen yelled at his grandfather. "Can't you see I'm trying to SLEEP?" The old scientist studied his grandson for a long moment. "No." Rick replied in utter deadpan.

"Aa-anyways, M- _URRP_ \- Morty! I-I-I gotta show you something." Rick continued, Grabbing his grandson by the foot, and started pulling him out of bed. Morty squirmed and fought as hard as he could. "No, Rick! I gotta get sle-" Morty was interrupted by his own head hitting the floor. "NOT TODAY!" Rick exclaimed, dragging Morty out of his room.

Rick escorted his drowsy grandson down the stairs and into the family's garage, otherwise known as Rick's Lab. There was a washing machine and dryer side-by-side next to the door. One wall had shelves full of "souvenirs" from many of the two's adventures. The other had tables arranged in a certain formation, holding all kinds of science equipment and abnormal inventions Rick has made.

Rick took Morty to a computer monitor on one of the science tables. "Y-y-you see this, Morty?" He shouted, pointing at the screen. "W-what is it, Rick?" Morty questioned, a bit hesitant to respond because of his grandfather's attitude towards him. "It's a device that de- _ **BELCH**_ \- detects how many have access to interdimensional travel. T-there's only supposed to be ONE, Morty!" Rick shouted, flinging spit in Morty's face. Morty flinched, disgusted by the liquid on his cheek. "Oh jeez, Rick…" He whimpered, quickly wiping off the saliva. "I need a drink." Rick huffed as he pulled out his favorite gray flask, drinking some of the Hennessy X-O inside.

* * *

In the middle of space, a blue box drifted gently through the cosmos.

The Doctor climbed up the stairs to the main platform, and stood at the main console that illuminated the control room with an orange glow, watching the time rotor raise up and down at a rhythmic pace. "Well," the scottish Time Lord said to himself, "Today seems like a good day to go explore." He looked down at the familiar control panel, rubbing it gently. "What do you say, Old Girl?" A Deep, Loud bell rang through the TARDIS's many corridors reaching the Main Control Room. The Doctor's face grew to a horrified frown. "Oh no..." The TARDIS abruptly jerked to one side, and it's usual trumpeting noise was now distorted, glitching and sputtering. This wasn't good.


	2. Dalektable Introductions

8:30 AM Saturday: Washington State US

* * *

"So, w-what are we gonna do, Rick?" Morty asked, looking for directions, but immediately wished he didn't. Rick looked at his grandson with a determined look, his uni-brow furrowing. "We're gonna find the son-of-a-Bitch that's fucking up reality." With that, the old man reached into his lab coat and pulled out device that looked like a white Iona Shoe Polisher with a green bulb on top.

Rick pointed the "gun" at the garage door, but lowered his arm when he saw his grandson. With a huff, he started, "Morty, If you see me pull out the portal gun, that means we're going on an adventure. That means…." He then got up in his grandson's face and shouted, "PUT SOME %$# ING CLOTHES ON!" Morty shrank back in shock, stepped back, and ran off to his room to change. Rick grumbled. "Why do I keep him around? Oh yeah. To hide my genius waves. He's stupid, but he'll do."

* * *

2 minutes later (8:32)

* * *

Morty came back into the garage, shoving his arm through a yellow t-shirt, unaware that the zipper on his jeans was down. "O-okay, Rick. I'm ready." Rick rolled his eyes. "FINALLY. Took you forever." Morty rolled his eyes back. "S-shut up Rick, I-I was trying hurry as fast as I could." Little did they know, the green bulb on the portal gun changed pulsed a familiar blue.

Morty continued, "Y-you just don't have the patience, Rick. You can't think about anybody but yourself." Now this made Rick mad. His sarcastic frown turned into an angry snarl, baring his pale yellow teeth, his unibrow burrowing, eyes widening will his pupils contorted. The angry man shot back. "I'm trying to save our REALITY, Morty! And you're yelling at ME because you're too damn slow? We're KINDA on a tight schedule here! So shut your pubescent dumbass up and let's go!"

Morty stared in silence at his grandfather. He knew that he lost the argument. And with a sigh, he surrendered. "O-okay, Rick… You win. I-I-I I'm sorry… I yelled at you…" This apology surprised Rick, and his expression turned into a satisfied apologetic look. "I'm... uhh... sorry too, Morty." Rick cringed at his own statement. _Did I really just apologize?_ The duo stood there awkwardly in silence for 5 solid seconds before Morty broke it. "So…. uh… We gonna go?" Rick, who was staring off, snapped back to reality. "Oh uh… Yeah!"

He looked down at the portal gun, and turned the gray dial. "Just need to find the right dimension…" After fiddling with the dial, the Portal gun was ready to go. "And awayyyyy we go!" Rick shouted, and a blue projectile blasted out of the portal gun, and came in contact with the garage wall. A blue vortex formed and expanded where the blast hit the wall.

Morty stared at the portal confused. "Uuuhhh, Rick? Isn't the portal supposed to be green and… goopy looking? It's gassy and blue now…" Morty's statement was Abruptly followed by a staccato, harsh tone, rising inflection of a voice echoed out of the portal 'EXTERMINATE!' The duo exchanged confused and nervous glances. The shrill voice was nothing nor of the two of them have ever heard before. "Y-y-you heard that, right, Rick?" Morty asked, stepping back from the portal. "Yeah… I did…" The teen's Grandfather replied, reaching into his lab coat to grab his laser gun, eyes narrowing.

A tank-like, robotic shell came out of the blue vortex. It looked like a pepper pot (salt shaker) with a single mechanical eyestalk mounted on a rotating dome, a gun mount containing an energy weapon "gunstick" or "death ray" resembling an egg whisk, and a telescopic manipulator arm usually tipped by an appendage resembling a sink plunger. It honestly look like someone made it out of junk in their high tech kitchen.

"Rick? W-w-what is that thing?" Morty whimpered, "A-and what is it doing?" The Robot's eyestalk moved up and down, looking over Rick's appearance. "I think he's scanning us…" Rick theorized. In its shrill electronic voice, the robot shouted, YOU ARE THE DOCTOR! YOU ARE AN ENEMY OF THE DALEKS! EXTERMINATE! The Dalek's Death Ray fired at both Rick and Morty, but missed and hit the window, shattering it. Rick, knowing now that they were in serious trouble, yelled at Morty, "HIDE MORTY!" grabbing his grandson by the arm, and dove behind the cabinets of Rick's workbench.

"What _IS_ that thing?!" Morty shouted over the noise as the dalek kept shooting at random around the garage chanting exterminate. "Wish I knew, Morty!" The scientist shouted back. "I don't want to die..." Morty sniffed, curling up into a ball. Rick only looked at Morty, nodded, thinking that this was the end for them, a kind of haunted grinding sound reverbed through the garage, filling it with bright light.

* * *

The Doctor danced around the console like a madman, flipping and pulling levers and mashing the buttons, as sparks shot out of the panels, starting to emit smoke. The atmospheric lighting of the TARDIS turned from a calm orange to a blood red, and a loud slow "dong" of a bell. "I'm trying to fix it, okay?! Can't you give me a minute?" The Doctor shouted, and as of in response, a blast of smoke and electrical sparks shot into his face, causing him to cough violently. "Setting coordinates to… Dimension C-132… Seattle, Washington, USA." He grunted, between coughs.

* * *

The Dalek's shrills were drowned out by an elaphantine trumpeting noise, and another object appeared, presumably from nowhere. The box was small, blue, and rectangular and had the words 'POLICE PUBLIC CALL BOX' emblazoned on a sign above its doors. An Earth Historian might have recognised it as a primitive communication artifact from it's "pre space" era, but they were wrong. Behind those rickety looking wooden doors was one of the most sophisticated time-space machines ever constructed- A TARDIS, a time ship from the planet Gallifrey, capable of traveling to any world in any point in history. Standing about 9 feet tall, the lantern atop of it's structure was pulsing with light. The Dalek stopped firing, and turned toward the box. It's doors opened and creaked, with a high pitched whine. An Old man with curly grey hair, plaid trousers, and a dark blue crombie jacket, stood in the box, with a smug grin and said in a harsh scottish accent, "The Doctor will see you now."

Realizing that the real Doctor was here drove the Dalek into insanity. _'YOU ARE THE DOCTOR! EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINAAAATE'_ In response, The Doctor quickly pulled out a device the size of a Chisel/fine tip Sharpie marker. This was the Doctor's sonic screwdriver. The screwdriver was TARDIS-blue shaft with gold and silver highlights. The upper half was a rectangular light grid and that pulsed with blue light. The Doctor aimed it at the Dalek while simutaneously pressing a button, and the device making a high frequency sound, overriding the Dalek's systems, increasing the voltage of the electronic parts inside the robot, that resulted in the dalek exploding, it's robotic parts flying outward.

"Okay, so. He can explode robots with a pen." Rick murmured to Morty. Morty responded with a nervous glance. It wasn't long before the newcomer started talking again. "Typical Daleks… What is their fascination with Earth? Messing with all these innocent people…" He said, shaking his head. The Doctor turned to see the blue portal swirling against the wall. "The Time Vortex? How is that possible?! It's not even a physical plane! It's just a medium the TARDIS-and other time machines- can go through!" The Time Lord scanned the Vortex with his screwdriver, when it made a ringing sound, the Doctor looked at it. "Three lines of math... Is this the formula for transdimensional travel? If a pudding brained human got control of this... if the _President_ got a hold on this... It could be World War III!" The Doctor dragged his screwdriver up the portal as it closed like a big zipper.

Morty Looked at his grandfather. Rick returned the look with an eyeroll. "okay, and he can close portals... with a pen."

"Hello?" The Doctor called, looking around, "Is anyone there? I don't think humans are custom to aliens bursting into their garage." Rick slowly stood up. "Actually..." Rick burped, focusing his eyes on the Doctor, his unibrow knitting. "It happens a bit _too_ frequently around here." The Doctor was astonished to actually get a response when was actually talking to himself. "Oh. Hello."


End file.
